Is it ever wrong to keep restarting? Do you catch yourself and realise that you’ve not only slowed but actually fully stopped doing something that you so wholeheartedly want to do or change? I have, well actually, I do far too often and perhaps I may think that I am doing this more and more recently. If I am being perfectly honest I have known for some time that I fit the title Starter - Non Completer extremely well. Over the years I have marked this trait, denied it, glossed over it even. A couple of years ago I embraced it and decided I was creative and mould breaking. I had the ability and passion to challenge and take apart the norm. I was a disruptor who found the problems and of course then moved on while others fine tuned what I had started! Perfect, I can carve my way through the forest and make a difference…..

I’m not so sure that this is really a reasonable mental ledge to rest on though. For whatever reason I am prone to not completing tasks and projects and the older I get I notice more and more that unfinished chaos around me has quite a real effect on the peaceful calm I do really crave and enjoy. 

So do I just accept that’s who I am? 

I believe that we can all adjust how we think and act. After all, we all just live in the feeling of our thinking, not the feeling of the world. So if we can acknowledge that we are reaching to a thought, and truly know that the thought is something that we are witnessing and not that we are that thought, we can train ourselves to see things differently and therefore think differently. Whether it’s a triggering thought where we don’t like how someone has reacted or acted, or it’s our own running commentary on what we feel about ourselves. We can flip these thoughts and spin the positive. 

‘I can’t believe he spoke to me that way, I can see his true colours now’ is far easier on our hearts if we see this as ‘wow, he must be going through something to have reacted that way to me. Can I help him or perhaps just give some space’. We don’t know what's influencing others actions nor should we guess. 

Equally, telling ourselves that we are anything negative won’t help at all.

I’m terrible at remembering names, I'm just one of those non-completers, I’m not a tidy person, I can’t run, I’m not good under pressure, etc.

These are limiting beliefs and as we only got the one shot at this amazing life, why do we try to limit what we can experience. I can’t just flick a switch and be a different person. After all, I am me. The complete, wonderful, loving, caring, constant work in progress that I am. It’s the work in progress thats the important bit. We are on a journey and on any journey you need to periodically check the map and adjust the course to keep the right heading. Sometimes we find that the destination has changed before we get to the original place we set to. This is not frustrating, it's wonderful and after all, it’s not the destination that holds the magic. It’s the journey.

I have had a close friend question me recently. ‘You are always chopping and changing on some new fad’. Initially this started to trigger me but then remembering that its just a thought that I am witnessing in me, I saw this as how he sees my actions. And thats fine. Do I feel that I am ‘chopping and changing’? In truth, No.. I feel I am pretty constantly researching, reading, trying out different things that catch my interest on my journey. I have, at different times, incorporated many many things into my daily. 

Exercise of different forms.

• Juicing. Fruit and veg, not anabolic steroids as yet ;-)
• Meditation.
• Journaling
• Walking
• Reading
• Playing my bass guitar

And so many many more things. And I love each and every experience.

Some become habits, others I dip into and out of as I feel I need them but none are wasted. 

Am I prone to using some as procrastination tools to get me away from important things I should be doing? Hell yes, but that's also work in progress.

I know I want to tidy up the loose ends in my life. These uncompleted jobs are free loading hitch hikers in my head. I don’t have the want or capacity to carry these thoughts around with me any longer so thats a big push for me and I know it will have a huge effect on Coralie too. 

One of the things I have been really interested in for some time now is cold therapy. In particular, Ice Baths. Which brings us back nicely to where this blog started…..

Restarting 

I started a 10 week, Wim Hoff Fundamentals course at the end of April, managed the starting session then got side tracked by life. In fairness the life distraction was a pretty big one and deserved of hitting the pause button on all but necessary energy investments. So now I have a little clear water ahead of me I am instantly thinking about yet another open ended project. 

Another ‘thing’ that needs restarting. 

And you know what, I am really looking forward to restarting it. Now is the right time. The end of April wasn’t. In 10 weeks I will be feeling a great sense of achievement for what I have learnt and I will be looking to see how I have incorporated it into my everyday life and what mental and physical gains I have felt and also want to achieve.

What a great 2 weeks. Well, it’s actually been a little longer that I have been feeling particularly perky.

We all move in waves of emotions. Some are quite pronounced peaks and troughs, others are less drastic and somewhat gently rolling. I have come to the realisation that life and its ups and downs is absolutely fine. In fact it’s better than fine, it’s how it’s meant to be and accepting this has enabled me to enjoy the ‘now’ far more. For too long I felt I was lead to believe that the right thing to do was to smooth out the emotions, to remove the lows, get away from the distance between the peaks and troughs. An episode springs to mind when I was at the start of my split with my children’s mum. I knew it was the right thing to do for both of us but in action it was tearing me apart. Many years of what was familiar and easy was thrown into the grinder and torn to pieces. It came to the point where I sought medical assistance as I did not know better then. I was, of course, issued with a prescription that I in turn exchanged for some little white pills that were full of promise for a better future and quickly. This short term ‘chemical imbalance’ that I was experiencing just needed a little help to sort itself out. Looking back now I don’t believe that this was the right solution at all and personally I am not of the belief that there is an actual imbalance to sort other than the one that the pharmaceutical companies created in the 60’s and heavily promoted in the 80’s. Thankfully this non-truth looks like it’s finally being uncovered right now as more and more medical people are appearing and speaking their mind against the created norm. 

But I digress….. What the medication achieved was to dull my senses. Sure there was some relief from this, I no longer went to bed after dropping the kids to school, covered my head and cried. I was more able to ‘hold it together’ publicly, I functioned and achieved that stiff upper lip, manned up and got on with it….. The weeks turned into 2 months, which slipped into 7 months. I was a bit of a zombie as the dosage had been doubled then doubled again to get the desired result! What the actual!!!! I was functioning but not living. My emotions were a flat line not a wave and who wants a flat line? If I was hooked up to a heart monitor I never want to see a flat line….. That means I’m dead!! I want a wave, a rolling up and down, a steady pattern. Isn’t that how life feels when it’s at it’s best? We can live in a state of high emotion or can we live in low emotion. We need to have highs and lows, the light and dark, hot and cold. These differing states give us the ability to reflect and live both ends. Seasons in nature are just like or emotions. We need winters, summers and beautiful spring and autumns. 

Our internal dialogue needs to be listened to, rather it needs to be observed, witnessed, and possibly assisted on its way. Remember we are not our emotions, we are simply feeling them. If someone does something that makes me feel sad I need to see that I simply Feeling sad. I am not Sad, I am Witnessing sad. It’s a state, an emotion and it will pass. I don’t want to ignore it or bottle it up, grow a pair, lock it out. I need to see it, feel it and then in time let it go but at all times recognise that it’s an emotion that is passing through me, it is not ME. Same with all thoughts and emotions we experience. Meditation or mindfulness has been a great help to me over the years, in understanding this and making it an automatic response. I am still work in progress but I am a huge amount better I am happy to say.

There are a shelf full of books that have also assisted in shining a light on my path of self love and acceptance. I will get round to loading the titles and a little description as to why I believe they are worth a read in the Finding Sky site soon. I promise…

Back to why the past few weeks have been so great. Firstly the weather. I love the sunshine, it just makes it all better. The world feels lighter and brighter, warm and carefree. The front door is wide open from early till late, the pups are wandering in and out, walking barefoot in the garden, eating outside at every opportunity. So so good.

Then last weekend I spent 4 days at Menfest.. Held in the Black Hills in Devon, it’s a gathering for anyone who identifies with the label of ‘man’ and is living as such. A place to explore and share what works for us and release what doesn’t. To cultivate Healthy Masculinity together in community and identify what support, tools and dynamics we need to live in this world as better men and partners. Hard to describe in words really but I first attended last year by what seemed like a divine accident but it was in hindsight all part of the journey. Clearly it resonated well as I was there again this year and plan to make this an annual event for my self development and to also give back to others. 

Why was this so good though? 250 guys in a field sharing real life stories and experiences. Real honest emotions. Gentle conversations, lots of laughter, amazing vegan food, no screens, no drugs, no alcohol is the guideline so if there was any it was discreet and not a ‘feature’ as we so often find in all areas. Challenging in the warrior area where there was physical participation options, lots of workshops to explore your inner king or practice breath work etc. But most of all, the human connection. Genuine High Vibe connection between men. No bravado, no intimidation, just pure connection and love. Love for life, love for now, love for each other in a completely genuine way. The only way really….

I left the field on my motorbike Sunday evening on a complete high. My cup was full. I had reconnected with great friends I met the previous year and had also made a whole bunch of new ones. A complete recharge, reset and reminder to be present, be centred with love and just ‘be’. 

Wow, what a weekend. I’m smiling just thinking about it and this year I had a friend come along and I was blessed to witness his journey and shift. Truly humbling and awesome.

The following week at home was a bit of a dip if I’m honest. There is a bit of a comedown when you come back down from this kinda thing but coupled with a bit of an injury I picked up there when I physically pushed my old body slightly harder than my current fitness level was really happy to be pushed. So a stiff neck led to reduced sleep and discomfort. This was a few days of low vibration. Lots to catch up on, lots of new things to do as we have some huge exciting changes that are imminently about to kick into gear but my less than eager energy made it all a little non productive…..

Roll forward a few days to this weekend just gone. Coralie and I attended and had a stall at a local event on Hayling Island. It was a Celebration of Summer held at the alpaca farm. A gathering of people celebrating art, mindfulness and wellbeing.  

Well…. What an absolutely bonzer day this was. I had a feeling it was going to be something special as the weeks building up to it the chat in the stall holder WhatsApp group was incredible. I have never been part of a collaboration that felt so positive and uplifting. Every single person was cheering on each other, helping in any detail possible, offering solutions of just positive words. The day itself then delivered by the bucketful. The high vibe was set and the visitors all felt it. Coralie and I spoke to so many people on our stall who all said the same thing. They could all ‘feel’ it. Again, my bucket was full to overflowing. I have a long list of lovely people who want to know more about how our beautiful and powerful essential oils can be introduced to their daily lives to assist in all areas and I also have a new circle of friends who I will stay connected with and work together in collaborations to make or immediate worlds and all who we meet have a better experience of life. 

You see, it’s all in the vibe. 

High vibe of positiveness that lifts us and add colour to the world.

Low vibes of possible reflection and relearning.

Highs and lows, ebb and flow, up and down. We witness them all but we are not defined by them.. We aren’t looking to stay ‘high’, that would be exhausting. We don’t, however, want to stay low either as that can become too familiar and sadly comfortable it we can’t see the way out. The good news is that vibrations are contagious so if we come across someone who is really on a low we can affect their experience positively. By adopting a powerful attitude, an attitude of gratitude is phrase you may have heard of, we can affect our autonomic nervous system. We can overcome the negative and therefore we can help shift others low vibe. 

So for me the key is love. Love life, love you, love others. It starts and ends with Love. As they say, ‘Love is all you need’!! And a selection of pure essential oils to help things along too of course. 

Keep smiling my friends and let's speak soon..xxxx

Sean